Take a Breath and a Step Back

Remember this post I wrote a couple of months ago?

Well, since that time I've had to continuously remind myself of that lesson. Over and over.  I'm a wee bit hard headed, you see. I apparently like to take my time learning things. I'm still struggling.  So much so, that on New Year's Eve, I told Hubs that something had to give.  If I hear myself yell one more time, I'm going to send myself to the corner!  I have to stop making excuses.  Sure, I'm pretty sleep deprived.  Yes, I just cleaned the kitchen fifteen minutes ago and now the floor is sticky again.  No, I haven't had "me time" in more than two weeks.  But, is any of this really relevant? I can't tell my children that whiny behavior is unacceptable even when they are tired, bickering is intolerable even when they are frustrated if I'm not being an example and showing them how to behave otherwise.

I realized that I'm being a complete and utter hypocrite in front of my children.  I spend countless hours talking to them about how you should use respectful tones of voice, kind words, and try our hardest to keep an even temper and then I turn around and raise my voice in frustration to them, speak sharply (If I'm honest, maybe even harshly) and ensure that they see how exasperated I am with the behavior.  This is accomplishing nothing but giving them the impression that the saying, "if Mama's not happy, no one is" is a true and reasonable statement, rather than a self indulgent one.

As I talked with Hubs, I also realized that I'm teaching them that the words I speak about Jesus and his love and how He wants us to interact with other people is not important to me.  Actions speak louder than words and if my actions aren't backing up the precepts that I'm attempting to instill in them, then it really is all for naught.  They will grow up and believe that it is acceptable to NOT practice what you preach.

Ouch.

So, as a New Year's resolution of sorts, I decided to really start to dig in and change.  I want to spend more time in God's word, learning and re-learning how God wants me to mother my children.  I want to find that balance between the meek and quiet spirit and the respected disciplinarian without crossing the line into a nagging, overbearing mother.  Quite frankly, it sounds near impossible, but I know that nothing is impossible with God's help.

After pondering all of this, I came across this Gentleness Challenge from Women Living Well and it was like God handed it to me to aid in this transformation that I'm hoping to make towards my children.  I decided to join in, because I can use all the help I can get!  Join me and other participants on Mondays this January as we all learn how to treat our children more gently.