A Soft Answer

A couple of days ago, I wrote this post about how I have really felt led to change some things about the way I am mothering my children.  I have become so tightly wound that some days I feel like one wrong poke and I'll become completely unraveled.  So, with God's help and the encouragement that is sure to come from other women participating in The Gentleness Challenge over at Women Living Well, I am working to become more purposeful in my quest.  One challenge at a time, I suppose.

This week, I'm going to focus my concentration on not raising my voice  and taking time to truly enjoy my children.  It is far too easy to get caught up in all the housework, the school lessons, and the general daily care that children require and completely miss all the opportunities that present themselves to really spend time with my little ones.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who cannot shake the running list of "to-dos" out of her brain when you do sit down to attempt a relaxing moment.  So, I feel it is also prudent to really focus on my children as well.  I don't want them to feel like I'm always too busy for them or that they do not deserve my undivided attention.

I have heard several mothers speak of an idea that I also read in one of the Duggar family books:  when you feel the temptation to raise your voice, whisper instead.   Seems a bit ridiculous, but I think that its purpose is more to force you to focus on controlling yourself than it is on getting the child's attention.  After all, if we yell and yell at our children, we are really only training them to do one of two things: 1. only respond when we have finally blown our fuse or 2. tune us out completely (ask me how I know this will happen).

The Bible says,

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.  Proverbs 15:1

and 

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

So raising our voices in anger or frustration will stir up anger in our children and we are admonished NOT to provoke our children to wrath.  I don't know about you, but this really makes my heart hurt for all the times I've yelled(and there are more of those times than I'd care to admit).  It also makes me more determined to put my best foot forward here and stop.the.cycle.  I'm going to give this whispering thing a try.  I'm also going to make sure that I don't slack off in my morning quiet time reading the Bible.  After all, if I really need help, I need to go to THE source for answers.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil 1 Corinthians 13:4-5